To all my 1.4 readers out there, this is my challenge:

Show me why the definition of love is not valuing.

Adrian Warnock kindly linked to me regarding this, but only made the comment that he thought I was “partly” right. Partly??? Why partly? Tell me why someone, tell me why!

Quite honestly, I am happy to be shown that the definition of love is not valuing, but I haven’t come across a reason why it is not. Sure, implementing love is more than valuing, and valuing itself is more than love, but for the life of me I can’t see why love is not, or only partly, valuing.

Help me out here! Then I might carry on with my thoughts about the relationship between love (valuing) and glory (recognising value).

This is something I want to come back to but right now don’t have the time, ie. the fascinating thought that if love is valuing and glory is demonstrating the worth of God, love and glory may have a closer relationship than I have realised before. Eg. love leads to glorification because love values and will ultimately demonstrate the worth of the object of that love. God the Father therefore glorifies the Son because he loves him; in other words, demonstrates the Son’s value/worth to him.

Of course, it is possible to recognise worth and not value it, as the unregenerate will do when they confess Jesus as Lord…

Interesting link…

Further food for thought.

[Update: Began developing these thoughts here.]

[I decided to put the 8 week devotionals I wrote on 1 Cor 13:1-6 on the web. I refer to them in my head as the "Love Devotions".They were written for our church as a supplement a Rick Warren series of sermons on this passage so they may have a reference to people or those sermons that mean nothing to others. All material that I attribute to our Pastor's sermons are from this series. I managed to get away with quite a few spelling mistakes, typos and unwieldy sentences!  I have noticed, also, that they give the most benefit when all the scriptures used are looked up and read.An enthusiastic student gave an amazing history presentation to a class. He used different types of media: from a power point demonstration to live interviews of historical figures’ descendents to animated characters acting out the events that occurred. He provided a wealth of information using simple and accessible points without overwhelming his audience. He gave his own very well thought-out assessment of the present day effects of the facts he was discussing and after 20 minutes sat down, waiting confidently for the teacher’s ringing verbal assessment.

Please take a look.] 

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

“Well!” began the teacher. “You have obviously worked incredibly hard and you have done an incredible amount of research and preparation. You’re style is great, the information was well structured and communicated in a varied and entertaining way with an excellent conclusion. Overall, a brilliant presentation. However…”

He leaned toward the student and whispered so everyone had to listen very carefully to catch what was being said.

“…this is a Mathematics class.”

We are all – right now – giving a presentation of our lives as Christians before others and before God. We might have the purest mouths; we might be the most regular attendees at church; we might be the most involved in ministries, but what Paul is saying is, “This is a Love class.”

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matt 22:37-39)

That is the life that we are to be living, and all the other things we might do – speaking in tongues, working hard, prophesying, moving mountains, sacrificing, playing music, preaching, telling the truth, witnessing, praying, helping others, reading the Bible and a million other things – all these things are done because we have love – for God first and then for others. Without love, we are nothing.

We can all point to areas where we are not acting out of love. Ask God to show you an area he would have work on bringing love into your actions.

Memorise: 1 Cor 13:1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Read also: Rom 13:8-10, 1 Cor 16:14, Gal 5:14, Eph 5:1, James 2:8, 1 Peter 4:8.

Study Questions:
1. In these verses, Paul says in essence, “Love or nothing”. Why do you think love is so important? What does “nothing” mean? Does it include not being saved?

2. What difference does love make when you combine it with serving God? For you? For others? For God?

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

Coffee is an evil thing. At least for me. At least in large quantities. Catch me after a week or two of real coffee drinking and you will find you have a wired, tired, and emotionally sensitive person on your hands.

I was like that a little while ago at church and someone made a cutting off-hand comment about me – I think in an effort to be funny – and I was deeply hurt. And angry. And as I thought about it, I decided that I’d never really liked that person anyway. I realized the huge flaws in their character and personality I hadn’t really noticed before and I was glad I wasn’t like them. And as I kept thinking about it I had to wonder why anyone would like them. I didn’t, and in fact I was ready to hate them.

Now, I knew that wasn’t right, but I had to be honest. That was how I felt. I prayed about it that night, but it wasn’t until the next morning that I was reminded of Matt 5:11-12 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

I was hardly insulted because of Jesus, (though a lot of who I am today is because of Jesus in my life), but I suddenly realized that Jesus accepted me and I had nothing to be ashamed of – even personality quirks, faux pas’ and insecurities. I felt loved, and all of a sudden I could forgive that person because my self-worth was no longer linked to what anyone thought but Jesus Christ.

How often do we look for affirmation in other things besides God Himself? We are created to need love, and if we don’t get it from God first, we are driven to get it from other people and things. The Corinthians were basing their worth on what they did – speaking in tongues, prophesying, doing great things for God – but Paul is saying they need to do those things for the good of other people in love, not to get affirmation from other people for themselves. Until we get our primary love from God, our love for others will mostly be dependent on what we can get back from them – but is that Christian love? Once we get our primary love from God, we are able to love others no matter what we get back from them. As John said, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

God calls us to love through giving, but a lot of our love is to get – prestige, respect, compliments, (all forms of “love-in-return”) – and when we don’t get, we stop loving. Can you think of times when you stopped loving because you got nothing in return?

Memorise: 1 Cor 13:2a If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,…Read also: Eph 3:14-19, 1 John 4:7-16a, 1 John 4:19-21

Eph 3:14-19, 1 John 4:7-16a, 1 John 4:19-21Study Questions:
1. What are some of the “loving actions” we might do that in fact are more to do with getting something back for ourselves? Is it wrong to want something back for ourselves?

2. What are some of the ways we can know we are loved by God? Explain how knowing God’s love helps us love others? Read Eph 3:14-19. Now pray that prayer for yourself.

3. There is meant to be a difference between a non-Christian’s love and a Christian’s love, but how would you explain the “outpouring of love” of non-Christian Australians when they responded to the recent Tsunami?

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

My brother Phil used to have an old Hillman Hunter when he was about 17 years old. He drove it to either side of New Zealand and up and down the North Island and eventually into the ground. Well, the engine, anyway. Everything else was in good nick, but without the engine the car was really only good for rolling down hills. He didn’t have enough money to buy another car – one that was legally allowed on the road, at least – so he bought another Hillman Hunter that was filled with rust and poured black smoke out the exhaust but that had a good engine. He began the transfer. He had no idea what he was doing. Library books are great.

Finally, after months of work, and a bit of help from others (including yours truly, who had even less idea what he was doing) he finished putting the “new” engine into his Hillman Hunter. He jumped in his same old car and drove the life out of the new engine in 6 months. But hey, it was worth it.

In these verses, Paul is not saying that the Corinthians shouldn’t speak in tongues, or prophesy, or try to understand mysteries and acquire knowledge. He is not against exercising miracle-working faith or sacrificial giving or dying a martyr’s death. He himself did all those things. His point, that has been made more than once, is that the engine for these things must be love.

But what if you can’t do it in love? At church Gary has made the comment that a Christian who does not serve is a contradiction. What are you to do if you do not feel you are able to serve in love, and that any service you give will be out from guilt or pressure or self-promotion?

Paul did not forbid the Corinthians from doing what they would like. Instead, he encourages them to work on changing the engine powering those acts from selfish motives to love. We do not need to stop serving, or hold back from serving, but rather work on love and have our service transformed. And, if we keep working on it, it will last more than 6 months.

Gary outlined five ways of developing deep love. How are you doing?
1. Learn how mature love acts and responds.
2. Start your day with a daily reminder to love.
3. Memorise what God says about love.
4. Practice acting in unselfish, loving ways.
5. Get support from other loving people.

Memorise: 1 Cor 13:2b …and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

Read also: Eph 3:16-19, Phil 1:9-11, Col 3:12-14, 2 Peter 1:3-11.

Study Questions:
1. Go through the five ways to develop love, and evaluate how you are doing. Try to think of ways that you can put those into practice in your life.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

A young man walked by a beggar almost every day and every now and then he put money in the beggar’s tin. Gradually, however, it occurred to this young man that it might be good to do something more. He formulated a plan. He would take the beggar to a restaurant close by and buy him lunch. Great idea.

A couple of weeks passed, and the young man still hadn’t managed to gather enough courage to do what he had planned. He was worried about what other people would say. Finally, however, he managed to do it. He walked up to the beggar and invited him to the restaurant and bought him a meal. The beggar was very thankful, and afterward went back to his spot and continued to beg.

For some weeks after that, the young man passed the beggar and smiled and put coins in his tin. The beggar smiled back. Soon, however, the young man found that he felt embarrassed, and he felt he had created a precedent and that he needed to take the beggar to lunch again. The young man wasn’t sure he wanted to do that – it was hard enough the first time – so he began to avoid looking at the beggar as he walked by. He then began taking detours, avoiding the corner where the beggar sat. Finally, the young man moved out of the area, relieved not to see that embarrassing beggar again.

Sometimes what we can do to show love to other people is limited by time, money and ability, but at other times it is only limited by our own embarrassment, shame or laziness. Most of the activities Paul mentions in the verses above are ‘big’ things – one-offs. But if we only show love in a one-off fashion, do we really love others? There is a charity who no longer accepts one-off help from enthusiastic people at Christmas time – the well meaning volunteers have no idea how to act or talk to the homeless people the charity feeds, and they are not committed enough to learn by volunteer at other times of the year.

Beginning in verse 4, Paul describes love, and his descriptions work in both one-offs and in on-going day-to-day relationships. This means that love should be seen in both. And I would say that if we are great at doing one-off things that show love, but don’t continue to love day-to-day, we should really question if we have love in the first place.

Think about the on-going relationships that you already have and ask God to alert you to ways that you can show continued love in the “little things”.

Memorise: 1 Cor 13:3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Read also: 1 Cor 16:14, Col 3:12-14, 1 Peter 4:8-10, 1 John 3:17-18.

Study Questions:
1. What instances of “one-off love” can you think of? Which do you think are reasonable, and which do you think should be followed up on a more consistent basis? Why?

2. We are all human, and there is only so much we can do. What limits do you think should be put on “loving others as we love ourselves”?

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

Can you imagine some in the Corinthian church doing their best to speak in tongues and prophesy in love and then having the rest of the church say, “What on earth was that about?” Or trying hard to explain some difficult topic, only to find that the church did not find it useful? Or again, to move a mountain only to have others say, “That’s not where we wanted it”?

It is one thing to give love, but another to see that what you do provides benefit for others. I am not talking about people who don’t know what’s good for them, but about people who understand what is going on, and know their own needs and wants. Part of love is trying to figure out what is good for other people, not just what you feel like giving them, and often that involves asking and listening – to God, and to others.

There is a very useful book called, The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. The principle is well known by many people, though there are still some who are not aware of it. Very simply, Gary Chapman outlines five different ways people give and receive love – words of affirmation, acts of service, gift-giving, physical touch, and spending quality time with others. If I, who gives love through words of affirmation, try to verbally show love to my wife, who receives love through me spending quality time with her, she feels loved only a little. On the other hand, if I spend time with her, she feels very loved. The idea is to learn another “love language” besides your own.

In the same way, if we are to love other people as we love ourselves, we need to find out what benefits them, both emotionally and objectively. Merely reaching out to someone once and giving up after finding little in the way of response does not reflect God’s love.

God, of course, knows perfectly what and when to give and what and when to withhold for every individual for their greatest benefit. Unfortunately, we do not have the same knowledge, but as we grow in wisdom and practice, we can grow in our ability to love other people effectively. As one person said, some things you only learn by doing.

Ask God to help you learn how to love the people in your life more effectively for their greatest benefit.

Revise: 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Read also: Eph 5:1-2, 1 John 3:17-18.

Study Questions:
1. What are some examples of “loving without benefit”?

2. What are some ways we can learn to be specific in our love for others?

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV)

Have love. Notice that love is not merely action, but something we have. Love is “got” from God. And once we have that love, we show it by our actions. Where do we most clearly see the depth of the love of God? Jesus’ death and resurrection.[1]

1. Jesus died for people who did not deserve it. No one, when getting paid by his employer or by a client, for that reason, sits back, smiles to himself and says, “How they love me”. That person got what they deserved for the work they did! We not only didn’t deserve to have Jesus die to save us from hell, we deserve to go there right now. Yet, Jesus demonstrated God’s love by dying for us though we don’t deserve it. (2 Tim 1:9)

2. Jesus chose to die. At no time during his life was Jesus forced into a situation he did not want to be in. As he said to Peter when he was being arrested, he could at any time call to his Father and he would be delivered. No woman would feel loved by a guy if she knew her friend had blackmailed him to take her to dinner. (John 10:17-18)

3. Jesus paid the highest price. In the recent wave of giving to the Tsunami appeal, a two hundred-dollar gift from a child meant more than a two hundred-dollar gift from a millionaire. Jesus, the richest, most powerful being in the universe, gave up everything and took on the deepest suffering imaginable in love for us. (Phil 2:6-8)

4. Jesus bought everything. The greater the benefits, the greater the demonstration of love. Jesus could have saved us and banished us from his presence or saved us and made us only servants or slaves. But he saved us and has adopted us as children and he has given us a glimpse of his glory now, and the promise of being in his presence full of joy and pleasures and a deeper experience of love than we have ever known – and it continually gets better throughout eternity! (1 Thess 4:17)

5. Jesus is eternally committed to his people. Jesus’ death and resurrection and the people he was to save were decided on before the beginning of time, and his commitment to continues to eternity. A father or mother doesn’t show love by only sometimes paying attention to their children. (Rom 8:28-30)

If you are a Christian, you can KNOW that God loves you though Jesus’ death on the cross. Apply it to YOU. This is the love that we are to be demonstrating to others.

Revise: 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Read also: 1 John 3:16, 1 John 4:7-11, Mark 15:16-47, Luke 24:1-7, Eph 5:1.

Study Questions:
1. Can you think of other ways Jesus’ life, death and resurrection demonstrated the love of God for us?

2. How do the five ways of understanding God’s love demonstrated in the cross apply to us loving others?

[1] The following is closely based on a mini-series of sermons by John Piper called, “The Depth of Christ’s Love” within a larger series called, “The Greatest of These is Love”. You can find it at www.desiringgod.org/library/series/LBLOV1.html

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV) 

Some years ago, a musician called Michael Card wrote a song about Jesus’ death called, “Why?”  The second verse goes like this: 

Why did it have to be a thorny

crown pressed upon his head?

It should have been a royal one

made of jewels and gold instead.

It had to be a crown of thorns,

because in this life that we live,

for all that would seek to love a thorn is

all the world has to give. 

Jesus said, “All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Matt 10:22)  Loving is not easy, and it is especially difficult when it involves speaking to others about the reason for our love.  As crazy as it sounds, people will hate you for loving as God asks us to.  But this is exactly the reality Jesus asks us to look at when it comes to following him to death. 

Love is war.  It is war against the world and the world’s way of doing things.  The world will laugh at you and take you for granted and try to take advantage of you.  It is war against the devil and his hatred of God and man.  Expect resistance when you begin to love God and others the way he asks you to.  It is war against our selfish natures and our sinful desires to do only what we want to do.  Don’t be fooled into thinking you can do this yourself.  The only way to keep your self under control is to submit to the love of God in Jesus Christ.  And in it all – persevere! 

The choice Paul gives us in the verses above is “love or nothing”.  The other side of the coin is “war or peace”.  You cannot love without war, and if you choose peace you’ll end up with nothing. 

Pray and ask God to teach you to love and to give you the perseverance to love despite difficulties and setbacks.  Think on how much he loves you, and then choose to learn about and love other people as you are challenged to.

 Revise:  If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (NIV) 1 Corinthians 13:1-3.

Read also: Luke 14:25-33, Luke 8:1-15, Matt 24:10-13.

Study Questions: 

1. Why do you think loving as God wants us to causes such problems?  Do you think it does?  Can you think of examples in your life or other’s lives? 

2. In what way would love be war in a family?  In a work place?  In a community?  How are we to deal with those situations?

Love is patient, love is kind. (NIV)

Love suffers long and is kind. (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

When I was a child, my parents described a place we were going to visit - a big, blue house, with a tree and tyre swing in the front yard and the beach just across the road. They expected me to be really excited about it, so, dutifully, I was. I had the whole place pictured in my minds eye, and I thought about it for the whole 2 hours it took us to get there. When we got there…What a let down!!! Sure the house was big and blue and there was a tyre swing and the beach across the road, but it was nothing like the place I had constructed in my mind!

When asked how he knew God was not just a figment of his imagination, C.S. Lewis replied, “Because God is nothing like I imagined”.

Starting here in verse 4, Paul describes love. The reason he described it was so people would practice it. Just being told about love will not give you a real understanding of what love is. Real love is as different from the theory as the real God is from anything C.S. Lewis might have come up with, or the real place my family were visiting from the picture I had created in my mind.

These 8 weeks are to provide an impetus for growing in love in our church. If all we come out of it with is a better theoretical understanding of what love is, it will have been a waste of time. If you haven’t already, commit to practicing love. For many, what is being taught may merely be a reminder. If so, let this reminder motivate you live and love like Jesus more than you have been. Start by having another look at the “love projects” Gary spoke about and plan to put at least one of them into practice this week.

1. Write an encouraging note to someone.
2. Invite someone home for a meal this week.
3. Pray every day this week for our country and for our community.
4. You can volunteer to help in a ministry of our Church.
5. Do a good deed for someone this week without them knowing.

Jesus said, “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35). Let’s work on being unmistakably recognized as disciples of Jesus Christ through our love.

Ask God to enable you to sincerely put love into action this week and even think of some new ways you can step out in faith and love other people in the church.

Memorise John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Read also: 1 John 3:16-18, Rom 12:9-13, 1 Peter 4:8-11, Gal 5:13

Study Questions:
1. Why must we practice love to understand it?

2. The Bible says elsewhere that love is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22). Why then do we need to work at it? Won’t it just happen?

3. What changes would you like to see in our church as a whole to make it a more loving church? What can you do to help it get there?

Love is patient, love is kind. (NIV)

Love suffers long and is kind. (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

For me, the three Bible versions above express three ways of understanding the first “love quality” Paul speaks about.

First, the NIV says love is patient - which to me describes the ability to wait for a long time in a queue without getting irate.

Second, the NKJ says love suffers long - a phrase that tells me that love can stand continued suffering without caving in.

Third, The Message says love never gives up - something I understand to mean that love keeps on going until it achieves what it set out to do.

Now, while all of those things are true, the full meaning is that of “enduring injury without retaliating”, and this was something that needed to be worked on in the church Paul was writing to. Already he had addressed divisions, jealousy and quarrelling (1 Cor 1, 3) and lawsuits being taken out against each other (1 Cor 6) - this was a quality of love they were sorely in need of, and if we are honest, many of us are in need of today.

What do you do if you are ignored in a conversation? I have had to learn that when anyone new talks to both Paula and me at the same time, I will rarely be looked at, even if they are answering a question I asked, Paula is the one they look at and talk to! What does love do? Refuses to retaliate (ie. sulk, complain), because I know my worth is in Jesus, not someone else’s attention. (2 Tim 2:19)

What about these situations? You are not invited to something everyone else is invited to. Love them by not retaliating, because you know your worth is in Jesus’ invitation to eternal life, not in someone else’s invitation. (Rev 19:9)

Someone betrays you. Love them by not retaliating, because you know that no matter how many times you have betrayed Jesus, he has never and will never betray you. (2 Tim 2:13)

Your hard work is unacknowledged. Love by not retaliating, because God sees your work and you will be rewarded in heaven. (Eph 6:5-8)

Big or small, injuries and offences are not easy to accept. Ask God today to help you understand his love for you so that you are not compelled to retaliate or defend yourself.

Memorise: 1 Cor 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Read also: Prov 19:11, 1 Peter 2:19, 1 Peter 4:8, Rom 12:17-19

Study Questions:
1. What exactly does it mean not to retaliate? Suppose someone murdered a family member of yours. Is it right to take them to court? How does “enduring injury without retaliating” work in that situation? What about less extreme situations? Where does justice fit in?

2. If we are to be honest, promises in the Bible like the ones mentioned above and the love of God for us often do not seem as real as the painful situation we may be experiencing at a particular moment. How can we live day-to-day without retaliating and be real about it?

3. It is not easy to give up the right to retaliation, but it is a quality of love that we are required to have. Are there situations in your life right now where you need to pray about your “right to retaliation”?

Love is patient, love is kind. (NIV)

Love suffers long and is kind. (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

At the centre of everything in Christianity is Jesus, and this is the case with the sort of patience/long suffering love that Paul is talking about here.

Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.
“He committed no sin,
and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. (1 Peter 2:21b-23)

He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth. (Isaiah 53:7)

When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, “Don’t you hear the testimony they are bringing against you?” But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge - to the great amazement of the governor. (Matt 27:12-14)

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Heb 12:2-3)

What does this mean for us? When we suffer because we are doing the right thing and because of Jesus Christ, we are to commit ourselves to God and look toward the reward we will receive in heaven. (Matt 5:10-12)

Those who cause us to suffer are not to be any less loved because they hurt us. If Jesus loves us despite the fact we have injured him to the point of putting him on the cross, what right do we have to withhold love from those who hurt us?

Ask the Lord to help you understand his love for you when you do things to hurt him, and then, based on his love and example, pray for the ability to love people the same way.

Revise: John 13:34

Read also: Rom 5:6-8, Col 1:21-23, 1 Peter 3:13-18a, Rom 8:37-39

Study Questions:
1. How does concentrating on Jesus’ example of non-retaliation help in your own life?

2. The verses above say that Jesus “entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:23) and endured the cross “for the joy set before him” (Heb 12:2). What heart-felt issues of suffering do those two verses answer?

3. What do you think about the biblical idea of thinking about a reward to get through suffering? Isn’t it selfish?

Love is patient, love is kind. (NIV)

Love suffers long and is kind. (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

“Some studies indicate that when abused wives silently endure and seek to be more submissive to their husbands rather than report the abuse and seek help from church or civil authorities, such behavior often provokes even more violence from the abuser.” [Wayne Grudem, Evangelical Feminism and Biblical Truth. An Analysis of More Than One Hundred Disputed Questions, Multnomah Publishers (2004), p492]

Non-retaliation does not mean staying in a situation where you are likely to be harmed by someone or something. This is an important point to grasp, because though “non-retaliation” and “voluntary suffering” are both illustrated in Jesus’ walk to the cross, they are two different things.

Non-retaliation is keeping a pure heart toward the person who offends or injures you and not slipping into the “You hurt me, so I’ll hurt you” attitude. It is avoiding reacting to injury by inflicting injury. It is a characteristic of love, and so Paul can say, “Love is patient”, or “Love does not retaliate in the face of injury”.

Voluntary suffering, on the other hand, is choosing to go into or remain in a situation where you know that you will be injured. Jesus did this when he submitted to the cross for us, but there were other times when he did not.

All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff. But he walked right through the crowd and went on his way. (Luke 4:28-30)

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds. (John 8:58-59)

Again the Jews picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus said to them, “I have shown you many great miracles from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?” Again they tried to seize him, but he escaped their grasp. (John 10:31-32, 39).

Other people in the Bible avoided suffering too (eg. 1 Samuel 19:9-12, Acts 9:29-30).

Voluntary suffering can be loving if it is done for someone else, but it is not a part of what love is necessarily like. If in doubt, get out.

Christians have often been hampered by wrong understandings of what Christ requires of us - meek is not weak, forgiveness is not always forgetting, loving others is not hating yourself. Pray that God would help you discern radical Christianity from radical misunderstandings of Christianity.

Revise: 1 Cor 13:4

Read also: Matt 2:13-14, 10:23, Acts 16:35-39, 23:12-22

Study Questions:
1. Can you give an example of how someone might act to prevent or avoid suffering yet still not retaliate?

2. Wife-abuse, husband-abuse (more common than suspected), child abuse…all of these and more are not examples where voluntary suffering would be loving. What are some examples of voluntary suffering that are loving?

3. Are there other Christian teachings you can think of that have been tragically misunderstood?

Love is patient, love is kind. (NIV)

Love suffers long and is kind. (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

I’ll call her Ann. Ann had been a Christian for about six years, and she still hated her father. This wasn’t teenage rebellion, this was hate born out of horrible abuse. Her father, an alcoholic and amoral intellectual demonstrated one of the awful ways human wisdom can pervert people. He decided that when Ann reached puberty the way to teach her about the birds and the bees was for her to experience the whole thing with him. He felt no shame, no guilt, and even today I have not heard that he admits to any wrongdoing. However, it was only one of the terrible things he did that pushed her out onto the streets until she became a Christian at age 18.

At age 24, Ann knew it was not God’s will for her to hate her father, no matter what he had done, so she took someone’s suggestion. She prayed every day that God would bless her father, even though she didn’t want God to bless him at all.

I went overseas just as she began doing this and when I returned a year later, she not only no longer hated her father, she would regularly talk with him on the phone and they visited each other every now and then. He still has the same amoral philosophy, and she is not unwise (though the situation is very different from when she was a young teenager), but she has managed to build an adult relationship with the father who once deeply betrayed her.

Love is patient, love is kind. The two love characteristics go together as well as exist apart. Not only does love not retaliate when injured, it repays in kindness. Paul gives an example of this earlier in 1 Corinthians:

We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly. (1 Cor 4:12-13b)

When Ann could not honestly show kindness to her father, she began by praying for God to bless him. Eventually, God changed her heart and enabled her to come to a point where she now blesses her father and shows kindness to him when there is the opportunity.

Love is not only a matter of not doing evil to your neighbour, it is also a matter of doing good. Merely being patient does not show a heart of love as much as being kind.

You may or may not have a situation as big or bigger than Ann’s, but we all have situations much smaller. Practice not only expressing love by enduring patiently, but also by acting kindly. And pray.

Revise: 1 Corinthians 13:1-4a

Read also: Luke 6:35, Rom 12:19-21, Eph 4:32, 1 Thess 5:15, 2 Tim 2:24-26

Study Questions:
1. Can you think of any situations you have been involved in where you or someone else demonstrated love through patience and kindness, compared with situations where you were not demonstrating love through patience and kindness?

2. In what ways has God shown his patience and kindness to us? To you personally?

3. How does experiencing God’s love for us help us to be patient and kind?

Love is patient, love is kind. (NIV)

Love suffers long and is kind. (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

Just how kind are we meant to be?

Recklessly kind.

Gary outlined four steps to take to be a kinder person:

1. Start seeing the needs of the people around you.
2. Sympathise with people’s pain.
3. Seize the moment to be kind.
4. Spend whatever it takes.

Think about it. If we are to love people as much as we love ourselves then our kindness is going to be significant. We usually know our own needs better than anyone else, and we are certainly the best at sympathising with our own pain. As for seizing the moment, our culture is an instant one: we fill the need as soon as we can, and often sacrificing a lot to do so. Can we honestly say we are as kind to others as we are to ourselves?

But wait a minute! That means we might have to deny ourselves!

Exactly. And as the way we treat ourselves gets in balance, we will be better able to treat others the same way. It requires less attention on us, and radically more on others.

Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

How do we do it?

- Always get your love from God. Know that God loves you and have faith in his kindness toward you.
- Count the cost. Kindness can be expensive, especially if you take Gary’s fourth step seriously: “Spend whatever it costs.” Decide what you can afford (not merely monetarily) right now. As you go, you will find what you can afford will increase.
- Start small. The suggestions Gary gave (listed in Day 1) are a great place to start. But don’t stop there! We are meant to be a radical people, so let’s work toward being radically kind! Start seeing, sympathise, seize the moment and spend whatever it takes! Let people say again, “See how they love each other!”
- Encourage one another. God has created us for good works. Let’s do them.

We are to be followers of Christ which means we are to be great lovers showing kindness to others. Ask God to not let you rest until you really do love people the way he asks you to.

Revise: John 13:34 and 1 Cor 13:4b

Read also: Luke 14:25-35, Matt 5:14-16, Gal 6:10, Eph 2:10, Heb 10:24, John 13:35.

Study Questions:
1. Can you think of areas in your life where you need to apply self-denial? Will this help you love others better? If so, how?

2. Do you already encourage other Christians to do good works? How can you encourage them more?

3. Right at the moment, what costs can you afford in your kindness?

4. In a group, see if you can cooperatively think of some act(s) of kindness to do together.

Love is patient, love is kind.

Love suffers long and is kind… (NKJ)

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self. (Mess)

I’m sad to say I’m getting fat. I’m not sure whether it’s the whole packets of Ginger Nuts I eat in one sitting, the amount of sugar in bottles of Coke, the amount of delicious food my wife cooks for dinner or just that I am a contented happily married man. Whatever the reason, my stomach sticks out further than my chest and when I look side-on into a mirror, gravity makes my face unrecognisable. I’m not happy. The solution?

Well, I suppose I could lay off the Coke and replace the Ginger Nuts with fruit and so on, but the best thing would probably be…EXERCISE!

Being fat ain’t that bad.

Spiritually, what shape are we in? Is all this talk about loving making us feel exhausted? There is no denying that focussing on Christ energises us and enables us to love, but we also have to do the loving. As 2 Peter 1:5 says, we need to “make every effort” and it is not easy kicking ourselves out of our spiritual easy chairs in order to actually become more like Christ. But that is exactly what we have to do.

So, has the Spirit convicted you? Have you begun to exercise to get into spiritual shape? Are you continuing to exercise to stay in spiritual shape? Use Gary’s sermons, take ideas from these devotions, read other books, encourage one another, but whatever you do – DO. Too often we are willing to stay in a state of spiritual unfitness – it’s too hard to exercise, it’s too easy to stay still.

Ask yourself: Out of all the blessings the Bible speaks about, just what are we experiencing – corporately, individually? God has promised us so much. Let’s love and see God move.

Note: With any exercise plan, it is important not to overdo things. Quite honestly, if we run into this exercising love plan full on, we will likely get disillusioned and give up before we get anywhere. It is better to build loving actions into our lives bit by bit so that we can increase and maintain our “spiritual muscles” long term. In these love exercise plans start where you are with the people who are around you. It is not always easy, but neither is it meant to make your heart sink just thinking about it!!! As has been said, start small, but do start. There is so much of God waiting for us.

Check yourself. Are you avoiding spiritual exercise and growth? Why? Honestly ask yourself. Confess any hidden reasons. Ask God for forgiveness and ask him the way to go forward. If you are not avoiding growth, check how you are going. Are there any adjustments you could make? We all need to evaluate our spiritual progress. How is yours?

Revise: 1 Cor 13:1-4a

Read also: 1 Cor 9:24-27, Phil 2:12, 1 Tim 4:7b-8, 2 Peter 1:3-11.

Study Questions:
1. Is our church at the place you think it should be? If not, why not? Can you apply some of those same reasons to you?

2. What are some of the spiritual exercises you have been doing in the last two weeks? Are you seeing a difference in your spiritual life? Are you changing? Do other people think you are changing?

3. What sort of measurements do you think should be used to measure your spiritual state?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (NIV)

Why does Jack Nicholson wear sunglasses inside at the Oscars? I mean, aren’t sunglasses meant to protect the eyes from the glare of the sun? There is no sun inside the building. I know from personal experience that wearing sunglasses inside actually limits your vision, so the question comes to mind: Is it because he doesn’t want to see anything? But if he doesn’t want to see anything, why go to the Oscars in the first place?

Of course, it is possible to see when you wear sunglasses inside, just not very well. If Jack wants to wear his sunglasses somewhere so that he can hardly see at all, I suggest a better place is outside in the country on a cloudy, moonless night. Lots of potential obstacles and interesting terrain to explore. Unfortunately, there wouldn’t be anyone there to see him, and of course he’d miss the Oscars.

In one sense, we are all Jack Nicholsons. We all voluntarily wear sunglasses in the dark. It is only when Jesus comes along and takes them off that our eyes begin to adjust and we can see more clearly. The things that we were limited to before, the world that we could touch and see expands and we understand that what looked good with our sunglasses on is nothing compared to what we can see with our sunglasses off!

Then we put our sunglasses back on.

Jesus came and lived and died, demonstrating a life that was lived for treasures in heaven, not for treasures on earth (Matt 6:19-21). Yet we look around at people whose vision does not extend beyond this life and this world and envy what they are storing up for themselves! God’s love has told us there is more than that. Our satisfaction is no longer achieved by money, fame, achievements and other things limited to this world. Our satisfaction comes from pleasing God and being pleased by God. We don’t need to envy because we have all we need.

Of course, that is the theory. The truth is that our flesh is still riddled with sin and envy is an integral part of our society and a deceptive part of our life here on earth, even when we do have our sunglasses off. God has given us a new perspective through Jesus Christ, but we are still learning to walk it.

Envy is antithetical to Christianity. It is important, therefore, to learn how to live without it.

Thank God the Father for allowing you to see and know and become his child through Jesus. Ask him to help you to recognise and deal with the envy in your life.

Memorise: 1 John 2:17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

Read also: Eph 4:22-24, Phil 2:3, Col 3:1-14, 1 Peter 2:1-3.

Study Questions:
1. What are some of the ways “not wearing sunglasses” can help you to love and not envy?

2. What are the treasures in heaven we can look forward to if we are faithful?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (NIV)

Sherlock Holmes and Watson walked in silence until Holmes spoke up. “No, Watson, we should go to the post office now to see if your doctor has posted that letter to you.”

Dr Watson was astounded. “How did you know that was what I was thinking? How did you know I am expecting a letter from my doctor?”

“Elementary, my dear Watson,” the detective drawled. “As soon as we stepped out the door, your hand went to your pocket to check you still had the keys to the house. Normally that would lead to a sense of security and freedom to think different thoughts, yet you seemed a little preoccupied with your keys, leaving your hand in your pocket and jingling them. The expression on your face indicated some thought, and I realized that there must be more on that key ring than merely the keys to the house. I remembered you telling me recently you had opened a post office box downtown, and surmised that you were thinking about some incoming mail. Since you have recently visited the doctor, I thought that perhaps an important letter from your physician might be expected. You then took your hand out of your pocket and pressed it against your abdomen and I concluded that I was right and that the incoming letter would contain some important information about pain in your abdominal area. Then you raised your head suddenly in a manner that people take when dismissing a thought from their minds, I daresay with the thought that you would check your mail another time. Hence my comment.”

We are just as confused as Watson about our sinful actions, attitudes and words that seemingly come out of the blue, but the connection between envy and other sins is far more direct than the connection Holmes traced from stepping out the door to his comment to Watson.

It is seems strange that most people would agree that envy is bad, but few people recognize it in action. Gary provided a long yet still incomplete list of the different negative things that can develop as a result of envy – anorexia, adultery, bitterness, gossip, insecurity to name a few. I invite you to do the same. Sit down and trace a variety of sins to their beginnings. You will suddenly see envy everywhere. That is because, like love, envy can be an engine under the surface that unconsciously drives us - usually where we don’t want to go. There can only be one engine. Love does not envy.

An important part of learning to love is to recognize and confess “false engines”. This requires honesty and humility. Ask God to help you see where envy has infiltrated your life and ask that he will help you replace that envy with love.

Revise: 1 Cor 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Read also: Psalm 38:18, James 1:13-15, James 3:14, 1 John 1:8-9.

Study Questions:
1. What specific sins are you struggling with that you can trace back to envy?

2. Envy is so common that we often think of its fruit as natural and not necessarily sinful. Can you think of sins that come from envy that you have excused as normal and natural - even in little ways?